My pregnancy thus far has been anything but a repeat from last time. I saw the doctor on January 6. According to my records (ahem) my approximate due date was determined to be August 27. Depending on my lab work done that day, they would schedule an ultrasound either the next week or for two weeks. To my delight, my HCG levels were high enough to have an ultrasound the following week. That was the first time I saw my little bird baby. I say bird baby because it literally looked like a tiny birdie. The shadows were such that it looked like it had a beak. Anywho, I saw the heartbeat strong and steady, and I felt better...for a little while. That same day I read an article that said once you've seen and/or heard the heartbeat the chance of miscarriage falls to 2%. I felt a little better...for a little while longer. I was 7 weeks and terrified because last time, my baby stopped growing sometime around 7 or 8 weeks. They scheduled another ultrasound for 3 weeks later. I must say that I was a total head case the entire 3 week wait. I was constantly assessing my pregnancy symptoms, trying not to freak out if something was too different. My next ultrasound was February 2. Oh! The changes that happen between 7 and 10 weeks!! At this appointment, not only did I see and strong and steady heartbeat, but my little baby was wiggling all over the place. Arms. legs, head, torso all wiggled and wriggled. It looked like it was dancing the twist or something. I cried in relief. That Friday, I slowly began telling more people. Family and close friends. Today I am 12 weeks. I rented a doppler so I can hear my baby's heartbeat when ever I want. Do you think the chance of miscarriage drops to 2% of the previous 2% every time I hear that little heart beating away?? I don't know, but I like to think so. My peace of mind has no price, and hearing that little thrum every morning gives me so much peace, I cannot find the words. I feel like I'm almost addicted to the sound of it. All I want to do is go home and listen. I could listen to it all day long. Everyday, I thank God for bringing my this far. Everyday, I beg God to let me be this baby's mommy.
I'm so in love.
